Hello, Hello! Never Know What To Title My Emails

Familia!

So first things first so I don't forget - we switched apartments with the Elders so the address is the same accept for the apartment number and oh instead of Dr. it's Ave. I'll just write it out again but I have been getting everyone's letters and I have loved them! Oh Dad, I have gotten all your letters and postcard and they are the best!  :) Hey cool thing, Sister Burton gets a letter from her dad every week too and we both get our letters from our Daddy's on Thursday, it's great :) And packages from our mamas. :D Funny story by the way, in Dad's last letter at the end of it, He said "You are the Best," and it was awesome because I told Sister Burton because she always tells everyone, "You're the Best!" and she laughed because she said her dad had said that in her letter too! So cool!

So the address is 502 S Fremont Ave Apt # 1507, Tampa Fl, 33606. 

Alright, so I love Sister Burton.  She is hilarious and is always saying the funniest things like recently, "It's time to check out mails to the E, our net to the inter." She cracks me up and is great to work with.  We don't have problems and companionship inventories only last 5 or 10 minutes.  She hates contention and is just easy to work with. Oh and speaking of companions, Sister Jenkins and Sister Howard are the sweetest. They stay in touch and I get emails from them every week and even though they are crazy busy (because we missionaries are, seriously I have never been this busy in my life nor this exhausted!) they have both sent me snail mails and are so stinkin sweet. I'm really grateful to have made such valuable lifelong friendships out here, they're wonderful. 

This morning I had a really good scripture study and confirmed things I need to hear from the Lord. Before I talk about that earlier this week we had interviews with our Mission President (on Wednesday). It was crazy because I wasn't nervous at all to meet with him even though everyone else in the mission is, it's hilarious he intimidates the heck out of all the missionaries. I felt relaxed and not worried to meet with him at all and things had been a little hard for me the couple days before  that, I was just really stressing myself out in wanting to be perfect and basically the adversary was doing a great job in sending negative and discouraging thoughts about myself. We discussed only for a few minutes and things were going well and before he was going to tell me more things he asked me if there was anything else I needed to ask him. And as I tried to ask him my question I started bawling uncontrollably, and by uncontrollably I mean super embarrassing type of crying, the kind that is like from your childhood crying, the kind where you can't breath and you're having hiccups crying. Oh my lanta, it was so embarrassing and I, through broken words, apologized to him and said I was fine and that this was really embarrassing.  Oh man it was great. And he laughed too and said it was ok and to just breath. Ha ha, President Cusick is awesome. He asked me what was on my mind and again to just breath. I was having a hard time composing myself, so he told me to walk around and write down what's on my mind and come back and we'd discuss when I was ready and he'd continue on with other interviews in the mean time. I ended up just going to the restroom to sob. It was so strange but I guess I just hadn't cried in a long time and it all just came out there. Sweet Sister Burton came after her interview and hugged me and Hermana Snow came and talked and it was good to realize that I just needed to relax and that God wants me to be happy and that the Atonement is there to help us when we are stressed. It is All encompassing. I expressed how confused I was because I thought I was fine but realized I had been giving myself a really hard time. I also realized that the night before had been rough at the opening night of the Book of Mormon Musical.  I deal terribly with rejection, I hate rejection and the feelings from that show had brought up feelings from the past. So silly how even though you take care of things from the past you really need to accept the Atonement more fully so the past doesn't keep bothering you :) Everything had just built up, stressing myself out in being obsessed with being perfect, wanting to be confident but afraid I'd become prideful, wanting to focus on Christ more, letting the past be the past, missing family, and I really miss our Heavenly Parents and Christ. 

I had a great cry, great fellow sisters, great insights and learning experience and I'm just grateful again. I was able to pull it together and laugh about it and finished my interview with President Cusick. He gave great advice starting with that you can't be perfect that's not possible :) and had a really good example of the need to receive the gift of the Atonement.  My "Preach My Gospel" was on the table and he used it as the example saying how it's like him trying to give me this gift but then me being hesitant and pulling back and forth on whether or not I'd take it. We talked about how I was worthy and I had repented before my mission of everything that I needed to and that I needed to receive that Atonement. The gift is there for us all, we just need to take it. 

President had Sister Burton and I take a break from the Book of Mormon Musical (they had enough missionaries there) and I told him I could do it and he said he knew I could but that a break would be good. Luckily we were able to help out again on Sunday which I was really grateful for because I wanted to help out so badly and I was just fine on Sunday and we had a great time! It was so much better then Tuesday night. 

Anywho, I am so much happier.  Sunday's studies and this morning's have been great. I read in Alma 36 and I love vs 3 and vs 21 really reflects my experience that even though I was having a stressful time and sad it was great because Sunday and today I am SO happy. I really find that description in the verse perfect because the joy I feel today is soooo sweet and I have finally been able to just relax, but still be a hard worker. I also wrote next to verse 21, "The joy of depression," it reminding me of what Dad teaches and I feel like it goes great with it! Read all of Alma 36 if you have time the ending is great and I love verse 30 that is is so simple. Keep the commandments and we will prosper! Also the last sentence, "Now this is according to his word." So good!!!!

Awesome Quote by the way,

"In a real though figurative sense, the book of life is the record of the acts of men as such record is written in their own bodies. It is the record engraven on the very bones, sinews, and flesh of the mortal body. That is, every thought, word and deed has an effect on the human body; all these leave their marks, marks that can easily be read by Him who is Eternal as easily as the words in a book can be read." - Bruce R. McConkie 

I found it in my Bible and love it.  It goes along with my study on the word "word" :) 

Ahhhh I gotta run, I will add another really cool quote next week and more about the cool spray paint artist we've met and how he is our neighbor!!!! SO COOL! and about Jasmine and etc.

SO yes, with Christ we can be happy and life is so good and I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!

Love,

Sister Bush